Ok so, we received lots of questions about how we keep the peace in out relationship :) How do we fight, if we fight at all? So we definitely argue lol! What couple doesn't? We actually think that it's healthy to communicate differences of opinions...in a respectful way. Ty and I have had our fair share of arguments over the past 12 years lol, and we are still working on ways to make our arguments go smoother! So we decided to share some things we have learned from each other during arguments and some things we are going to try out in our future arguments :) LOL!
Here's what we are trying to do LOL:
1. Watch what we say and how we say it
Once you say something, there's really no way to take it back :(
2. Proactively confronting issues
It is so important to respectfully let your spouse know what is bothering you before it gets out of hand and boils over!!!
3. Trying not to topic jump!
We are working on arguing about one thing at a time lol and trying to stay focused so the particular issue can be resolved.
4. Watching our body language and tone of voice
Rolling eyes, huffing and puffing, staying seated etc..... they all matter LOL!!!
5. Knowing when to take a time out!
When we feel like things are getting out of hand it's time for a breather lol. We're also trying not to make the time outs last a long time because that then tends to make things more tense for us lol!
6. Trying not to "one up" each other!
If one of us says something mean, the other shouldn't try to top that with saying something even worse!
7. Don't laugh during your arguments!!!
It can make someone feel like their feelings don't matter or it can seem like you are not taking the conversation seriously. You might also want to hold your back sarcastic smiles when your spouse tries to explain themselves, and are having a hard time getting the words out. lol
8. Setting a time limit!
Our arguments can be pretty lonnnnnng! lol So we thought about getting a timer and setting a time limit for our arguments to prevent wasting time. ( As a side note, lol, Ty suggests that we immediately "make up" if we exceed our argument time limit!!! SMH)
9. No arguing in the car!
Not only is arguing while driving dangerous, it could result in a long walk home!
10. No fighting on the phone or text messages.
It's is very difficult to read tones through "text" when you are upset. Also, hanging up on each other solves absolutely nothing!!!! lol
11. Don't go to bed angry.
If you go to bed angry, there is no "right" side of the bed to wake up on the next morning.
12. Make up after your arguments :)
Set a date night or something to re kindle that flame!! Oh yeah!
13. Admitting when we're wrong!
This one is tough, but it makes you stronger in the end when you put your pride aside and admit that you made a mistake. As for the spouse who is receiving the apology, don't rub it in!!!
14. Stay prayerful!
God know all and sees all, so going to him with your problems is always an awesome idea. Prayer changes things! Even bad attitudes :D
Crystal aka Kriss :)
Hey! I'm Crystal, an energetic married mother of two who is on a journey to become the woman God has meant for me to be. I'm sharing my journey in hopes to inspire others to be comfortable with who they are. Here you will find lots of things ranging from natural hair care, beauty, marriage life, spirituality, and random fun stuff lol.
Remember to be who you are and not the person others think you should be!
Last Relaxer Date:
February 3, 2012
Big Chop Date:
August 5th 2012